I'm going on a diet. Only I'm not calling it a diet. Because to me a diet is when you try to eat a little less and try to eat a little better. Only to forget a day later that I'm on a diet. I don't know why, I always forget I'm on a diet after a couple days. Sometimes, even after one meal!

I guess because I'm playing games in my head like "I'm going to go low carb so it's okay to eat whatever but just eat low carb." Then while I'm eating if I like something carb-y I'll eat it and change my diet on the fly and say, "I'm going to eat more moderate portions - that's my diet" and then later still, "I'm going to eat more vegetables and less meat" and so on until I forget what my strategy is and that I'm even on a diet. After all, isn't what we eat a "diet" so we're all on a diet.

Today, I told myself I'm going on a "calorie reduction". There, now that sounds like something serious. And I also told myself I'm going to eat more meat and less fat as well. But the main thing is "calorie reduction".

Of course, today I met with my sister Lisa and brother James and we went to a vegetarian buffet restaurant and I ate and ate so that I overate. Fortunately much less to worry about than if I had been stuffing myself with shrimp and beef and pork and chicken but still... The vegetables were cooked in a lot of oil and I think I ate plenty of calories.

How many calories? Now that's my problem with dieting. I HATE counting calories. I'm not a numbers type. I resent counting. I hate looking up calories for foods esp when I eat such oddball things.

So I've just decided. I won't calorie count per se but I will write down everything I eat and that will make me more conscious of what I consume and therefore reduce the overall number of calories I consume in one day. Thus, calorie reduction without mundane calorie counting.

Today, while hanging out at my sister's I tried her blood pressure machine. I tried it twice. Couldn't believe the results and tried it again, and again, and again. The last time I tried it I got 147/84. That was just slightly lower than some of the other readings. So that's high for me because I typically run low on blood pressure. Scared me. Fortunately, a couple hours after our big vegetarian meal when we did a blood sugar reading I was 107. My sister was 124 or thereabouts which was okay but not great but she's diabetic.

And later when I tried on gym pants off the clearance rack for working out at the gym I couldn't believe how I look 5 months pregnant. No wonder some lady asked me a couple months ago if I was pregnant. So I must be the apple type. I gain in my middle. Although all parts of me is expanding as well.

So I'm pretty motivated to lose weight. I've got high blood pressure (for me!) and I look like a 5 month old pregnant woman and I need more energy to clean house. And my heel hurts. I've got plantar faciitis. Oh, and in my sister's bathroom scale it says I weight about 175 clothed. That was my pregnancy weight!

I warned my husband tonight I might get grouchy on a diet and I apologize ahead of time. And I told myself that I will get hungry on occasion, esp. during the first couple weeks when I will want to gnaw my hand or something but that it'll pass and that it's worth it. I want to be normal again. Not this puffed out version of myself. Very odd to look at. So not used to that being me.

I gave my kids the heads up tonight that we'll be working out. Hopefully they'll be okay with going to the gym with me and staying at the Kids Klub section while I go work out.

Let the games begin!!!!