I registered today on stepping out of squalor website and posted. So far so good. I got so inspired by the Kimmy thread on Squalor Survivors and seeing before and after pictures. I cleared off the kitchen table and this time I am determined to keep it clear. Benjamin already is starting to sit at the table with us for our dinners and that makes me so proud! And his doing that will motivate me to keep it clear.

I also cleared out the stuff under the kitchen table so the whole effect has been a lightening of the heaviness of the kitchen. Now I am working on the kitchen counters. One inch at a time as someone suggested. lol

I told Catherine about Kimmy thread (my apostrophe is not working) and the website already. I hope it changes her life as well.

We went to a Chinese restaurant and I blew it there. I got upsold with some fried bread with pork in it. It did not taste good but I ate a couple pieces anyway. We ended up throwing the rest out. I definitely felt like I ate to fullness and then we went to Dennys to play on our date night and we shared an Apple Cobbler.

So not a good day calorie-wise.

Mess-wise, still plugging away and reading the Kimmy thread which is so motivating and touching.

http://www.squalorsurvivors.com/resources/index.shtml

It's been awhile since I've posted another entry. It's not because I haven't been earnestly trying to better my life during this time but because I basically haven't had anything to report.

I'm being kind to myself when I say that I'm still progressing. The truth is I'm not so vigilant anymore about my eating and I stopped recording everything I eat. But it's also true that I have not had a wild pigout since I've started this calorie reduction and overall I am eating better and with less calories. In fact, where I was eating so I was gaining visibly every week, I've now reversed it so that I am at least not gaining weight week after week.

The scale DH fixed says 171.x now. At one point it said 169 I think. And at one point in my sister's place 175. So I'm going by this scale now and will continue.

I've learned a little about me and vegetables. I like them so much I will eat them just boiled most of the time. So when odd vegies come around through the CSA I find I don't need to roast them or anything. Just boiling or stir-frying with garlic will do. Of course the rest of the family won't eat it that way but DH will try a bit that way and that's good enough. So I won't let those vegetables stay in the fridge too long now.

I found a website: http://www.squalorsurvivors.com/resources/index.shtml

It's possibly life changing. I laugh when I read the stories posted on there and I'm just now reading the Kimmy thread. That girl lived in 3rd degree squalor but managed to pull herself out of it thanks to online support. I find the site stress-relieving, humorous, and motivating. So cathartic.

I recommended it to Catherine who is going through the same thing and she's read one success story so far.

Tonight my brother James came to visit on the spur of the moment and he laughed and said OMG when he saw our place. But he stayed and visited for a long while which was nice. The kids were thrilled to see him. They were kind of hyper.

Afterwards I read the Kimmy thread (for the first time) and after the first page of that (there are 17) I got working on the kitchen table. I see the table now under the laptop. It was sitting on a pile of paper before then. I've given myself permission not to recycle but just to toss. Part of it is because our bin is totally full. But part is that the advice on the thread says to give yourself a break on that because it's too hard to have to sort to that degree when you're getting out of squalor.

So while no great shakes at the calorie reduction thing, I didn't blow it with a big huge meal at any time and I am also starting to attack the mess around here which was my intent with this blog when I first started.

I need to keep drinking the water. I noticed something. When I drink plenty of water during the day I stay on course with calorie reduction. When I'm not consciously drinking lots of water, the odds aren't so good. So I don't know if it's the water or if it's the consciousness but I will make an effort to focus on drinking lots of water throughout the day. I bought another case of bottled water from Costco so that will help.

Hmm. It's 10:30pm, I wanted to go to bed an hour ago when I decided I wasn't going to the gym. I need to focus on calories. I had some yummy food today. Made bran muffins. Overdid it by eating three. But they were small - and had fiber! ;>

And I had a cup of coffee - decaf. But I loved the half and half. Missed it. Well, I have to start anew tomorrow. Haven't totally let go of the wagon but I have fallen out a bit and am hanging on, getting my butt back in.

The good news is DH fixed the scale in the bathroom. Now I can see "progress" if there is any. That will be good motivation.

My period has ended. I wonder if that has anything to do with me eating a bit more. That was a short period. Essentially 4 days but heavy.

Okay, off to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Tomorrow is another day.